Life Lessons

In my head shrink visit this week I asked why I am attracted to liers, abusers, and betrayers. I have a running list of men in my life who fall into this category. She told me frankly, people who believe in God, believe he repeatedly places certain people in front of you until you learn what you need too. People who don't believe in God believe it is the brain who is trying to teach you this lesson.

So I asked, "What lesson am I supposed to learn? Heartache? Don't trust men? What?"

She looked at me blank faced and said, "You need to learn to trust your instincts."

I absorbed that for a moment. Until I thought.... holy shit. She's right. When I use my hindsight I see warning signs I ignored in every case. I rationalized while ignoring my instincts. Quite simply put... I don't trust myself.

I guess this means the purpose of my life right now, is to learn to trust myself and my intuition. I guess all my failures aren't really failures, as each time I have learned a little more, only I'm hoping my prior epic failure was the last failure.... cause failing sux.