Sunday, January 1, 2012

The Year Of Light

I have decided that 2012 will be called the Year Of Light, opposed to 2011 which was dubbed The Year From Hell. Things with the husband are steadily improving, which means the Beloveds are behaving better as the balance of life adjusts to pleasant.

The father-in-law gets sentenced for his child molesting ways this Tuesday. I've decided I'm going to the sentencing. I've been to other court dates, but I think this one will help me see that justice occasionally happens. Sure, God is punishing my own father for his wicked ways. I mean he's been slowly suffocating to death for 12 years. He can barely wipe his own butt. That's got to be a living version of Hell. Even though he's being punished to some extent, what he did, what he's capable of, and who he's been is all still a BIG secret. For example, a very good family friend was killed in a diving accident. My family attended his funeral, and my father was there. Why would this matter? The friend that died was a prosecuting attorney who specialized in sex offenders. Humm.... Irony anyone? Of course the attorney had no idea what my father had done. So see, it's still a big secret.

However, what my father-in-law did is not a secret. It's a big nasty hurtful wound exposed to the air for everyone to see. Some of my friends think it's shameful and embarrassing to acknowledge what he's done. I am here to tell you it feels more shameful and hurtful to keep it hidden.

I'm hoping that Tuesday will give me a sliver of peace. Will I stop flinching at shadows? Will I feel safe in my home? In my sleep? Will I suddenly be comfortable in crowds? Probably not. But maybe, just maybe, it will help in some small way to know the evil men do is not always a dark secret. Sometimes light shines in the dark and justice is dished out.

At the very least I can take serenity in the fact he can never hurt another child again, and I helped.

Being the Year Of Light.

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