A New Head Shrink

So this afternoon I have a Telemedicine appointment with a head shrink. (I live in such a rural place Skype is used for many things, including head shrinks.) See my regular counselor cannot prescribe drugs. Since I'm allergic to Anti-depressants, to the point that my reaction is a short walk to death, my primary care physician doesn't know what to do with me. Of course I find it ironic that I'm allergic to Happiness! Ha. The general theory is that if I have some type of anti-depressant it will help with the daily anxiety. Theories are a great thing. I just don't have a lot of faith in this theory, since the answer in the past has been to drug me until I'm a drooling lump in the corner, which is unacceptable. I'm young, I'd like to actually live life not drool through it in a daze. I'll take the anxiety if that is my only choice.

The latest solution is a couple appointments with this head shrink that can prescribe drugs to see if there is a med that can help on a daily basis with my PTSD symptoms. Who knows... maybe I'll even be able to sleep? Naw....

Anyway, I'm nervous about this appointment. I HATE seeing knew doctors. In general I have so much baggage I need my own bell boy to lug it around. An hour just doesn't seem long enough to scratch the surface. I also HATE taking drugs. I don't trust them. Then again I don't trust people either. I also don't like the idea of being dependent on chemicals. This is one reason why I'll never be an alcoholic like my father.

I don't know how this is going to turn out. I hope it's a positive thing, but I'm not feeling too. positive. In fact it's taking huge amounts of self control to NOT cancel the appointment. I guess we'll see....