A Letter To My Inner Child

Dear Little Rose,

I know you're confused on who to trust. Men tell you lies as easily as they breathe air. I wish I could tell you some trick to know if they're telling the truth, but I don't. The best I have to offer you is trust your instincts. You're instincts are basically good. When you have rationalized or minimized you've found yourself in trouble. Sure, you might not want to believe what your instincts are telling you, but that doesn't mean they're wrong.

Trust doesn't get any easier as you grow up. People let you down, but sometimes they surprise you too. Along with trust, you have abandonment issues. You assume it's not IF someone is going to leave it's WHEN are they going to leave. You've been able to push most people away, but there are a few who will not leave. This will shock and surprise you. Try to stop pushing. You might think it would be easier being alone, but you're wrong.

You have many coping mechanisms, some better than others. You need to modify the dangerous ones. The point is to heal not to cause further damage. Of course healing is far from easy and painless. Healing hurts. You've already shown you can handle great pain, both physical and emotional so don't give up. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have healthy relationships with positive boundaries. You deserve to be loved and adored, in a healthy manner by appropriate people.

You are worth it.

You are worthy. And most importantly.... IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! You did nothing wrong. Little girls are supposed to love their fathers. Father's are supposed to call their daughter's their Princesses. Father's are not supposed to be sexual with their daughters on any verbal, physical, or emotional level.

You learned to survive. You leaned how to forget, how to function. Your emotional needs were neglected. You still have a chance. You helped put a child molester in jail. You have the power to help yourself and others. You're not weak. You're strong.

You are NOT alone.

Sure you'll make mistakes. You will even make some mistakes more than once. More than 5 times, but eventually you will see the pattern, the reason for the mistakes and you will stop. You are intelligent. You truly can do anything you set your mind to. Just remember the family you make is more important than any material item. The healthy love you share, and show your Beloveds is the most important. They will keep you humble. They will keep you in check. They will frustrate you, and anger you. They will love you like no one else on this planet. You have a chance to do for your children what your parents never did for you. It is a glorious wonderful thing. Remember that.