Mommie Dearest Beat Down

A couple weeks ago I was really anxious. I'm not sure why, I just was. I jumped at shadows and was constantly on alert. I even told my husband, make noise as you approach me, or be prepared to get hit. Well, he didn't believe me.

I was in our closet hanging clothes when I saw a figure out of the corner of my eye. When I turned my head all my brain registered was Strange Male. I felt threatened, and instantly feared for my children. I took the only weapon I had, a hanger and started to hit the man while screaming in anger. I was trying to figure out how to poke the man's eye out with the metal hook when my brain registered the man was my husband. I was so upset he had scared me I kept hitting him, only this time I was yelling what a jerk he was.

Eventually he ran out of the closet to get away from me and my deadly hanger. He laughed as he showed me his welts. I asked him what the hell he was thinking and he said, "I thought I'd sneak up on you and plant a big kiss on your lips."

Yeah, did I marry Captain Brilliant or what?

I tried to explain that he couldn't do that to me, and how lucky he was to still have both of his eyes. I don't think it truly sunk in though.

Throughout the day I would relive that moment in the closet over and over again. The memory would make me nervously laugh, not because I thought it was funny, but because I laugh when I don't know what else to do. Survival tactic.

Lying in bed that night, I laughed again. Captain Brilliant asked me what was so funny. I told him I was thinking about the closet scare he gave me. His response, "Still?"

I tried to explain to him, due to my past, and my anxiety my brain honestly didn't recognize him as anything more than a threat. When I was beating him Mommie Dearest style I was in true fear for my life. I was seriously going to attempt to poke his eye out. He's lucky my brain finally registered he was friend not foe. What he thinks is funny, or sweet my brain translated as a threat.

I'm not sure if he got the message, but I don't think he'll be sneaking up on me anytime soon, especially if I have a hanger in my hands.